Not everyone is good in face to face confrontations, or even over the phone. Some people may require some preparation to explain their feelings and thoughts. If you are one of those people, then happily the internet was made just for you. Email and texts can be a low pressure means to communicate with someone who has broken up with you. It can still be difficult to know what to say, but here are some useful guidelines.
7 Tips To Email Your Ex
- Be casual. If you are still working your way back from the breakup, either to become friends or possible restart the relationship, it is in your best interest to keep things casual at first. You want to start up lines of communication again, which email is a perfect, low-key method for.
- Don’t send an emotional first draft. If you are feeling particularly depressed, lonely or angry, don’t type in what you are thinking and immediately hit send. Often the things we mean can be distorted by our emotions. You probably need some time to formulate these emotions into an acceptable form. You may wish to wait a day or two or let a friend edit it for you. If it is too personal for that, at least bounce the major ideas off of someone for some feedback.
- Never text or email when you are drunk or high. Sure, you can always send an apology and an explanation that you were drunk when you wrote it, but words can’t be erased from a memory. You may inadvertently hurt or offend your ex so much that repairing the relationship becomes impossible. So if you need to imbibe or feel like going out with friends, unplug your computer or have your roommate keep you from sending an unscripted message.
- Use quotations. Often our emotions don’t come out on the page in an eloquent or even acceptable form. So turn to Shakespeare or a modern counterpart. Most writers have experienced the same things you are going through and have written beautiful, pertinent advice for you or for your ex to consider. Using an appropriate bit of verse or saying can help you start your email with a touch of class. Furthermore, it can often provide some focus for your note; it can inspire you or give you a framework to build your message around.
- Include a video or joke. If you want to make your email more appealing and attention grabbing, then you may wish to put a popular video or joke in it. It doesn’t have to be all that applicable to the message you’re sending, but it might help. If you kind find a Youtube video that will help convey your sentiments in a humorous or touching way, it may make your message a little more digestible.
- Don’t reply immediately. If your ex sends a response to your email, don’t immediately bang out a reply. You may want to start a back and forth, but it helps you to wait a bit. You don’t want to appear desperate to hear from him/her. Waiting a while can also give you time to formulate the perfect response.
- Be ready for a followup. If your email is effective, you should be prepared for your ex to hop on the phone or skype. You may want to have an excuse handy in case you don’t want to hear or see your ex. Otherwise, shower, shave, etc. so that your emotional turmoil isn’t apparent to him/her. After all, you want your ex to see or hear you in the best possible light. And be prepared to answer or ask hard questions; what do you really want, where do you see us going, etc.
Emailing or texting someone is a perfect form of communication to initiate a relationship after a breakup. However, these are just some of the considerations you should keep in mind. Every relationship is different, though, so tailor your message to your ex. And remember, that if you want to be more personal and dramatic you should use other forms of communication, like phone, skype,or a face to face meeting. But whatever way you decide to talk, be optimistic; you were friends and lovers before, so a second time around shouldn’t be all that difficult.
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